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Welcome to THE MAIN INGREDIENT a place where Food News, Food Politics, Food Culture, Food Fashion & Food Humour meet. Each week you can preview topical foodie matter from my 'Gourmet Lifestyle' radio show called (wait for it) THE MAIN INGREDIENT. Food for the belly & the brain, I hope you'll enjoy the journey with me. Regards Kel

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Now this is One Smart Plate!

As the obesity crisis continues, isn’t it amazing how we seem to be taking less and LESS responsibility for our actions? We know we eat too much and yet we just keep piling it in. Now it seems we have lost the ability to even know when to stop. So I guess we are extremely lucky that some bright spark has invented the ‘Talking Plate’. 15 centimetres in diameter and connected to a palm sized computer the ‘Talking Plate’ is fitted with weight sensors to allow you to load up at the buffet to a fixed volume of food. Just one slice of jamon too many and the plate will inform you (and anyone else within earshot) that you are about to over do it! “Where’s your willpower?” the plate will demand as you try to squeeze those last few Gambas with Cocktail Sauce onto its corner. The idea springs from the fact that we only start feeling we are full twenty minutes or more after we start eating, and in that time period it’s time enough to eat two or three times the proper amount of food. The ‘Talking Plate’ warns us of our impending sin, just incase our eyes are bigger than our stomachs. Now if you feel that bringing a talking plate to the table would be just a tad embarrassing at your next gala dinner, Dr Hryhory Chausovsky’s inventions don’t stop there. As a variation on the ‘Talking Plate’ the Dr has also invented the ‘Talking Belt’ which monitors expansion of the wearer's stomach as the meal proceeds, and peeps a discreet alarm when maximum allowable extension has been reached. For the really paranoid gourmand Chausovsky offers a lightweight arm band whose motion detector counts calories by the individual bite. In fact the Soviet trained scientist has devoted his life to turning his brains and imagination to the needs of weight conscious consumers. He has another plate that is equipped with a contact sensor built in the food containment area, and a mini-synthesiser, so that each time the diner's fork or spoon strikes the plate, the plate plays music. If the utensil strikes are too rapid, the plate will play fast and aggressive music while if the person eats more slowly, the music will be calmer and less stressful. The Doctor says the natural human tendency to avoid stress and find calm will therefore slow down the eating process. Chausovsky’s other weapons of fat destruction include a simple contact magnet and recorder connected to the refrigerator door, which asks the tricky question "Are you here because you are really hungry, or is it just your emotions?" every time you open the fridge door. There’s also the ‘Scent Ring’ jewellery that emits a strong perfume partially masking the smell of food, and so reducing the desire to overeat and if you really need to bring out the big guns for your big buns the ‘Food Spectacles’ are a pair of tinted glasses that are guaranteed to make even the most appetising chocolate mousse look totally inedible.

1 comment:

Sawsee said...

I hope the plate is made from an unbreakable material!

I read recently, that humans do not feel satiated when drinking a food such as juice or milk. People that ate food but did not drink juice or milk, consumed less calories than the people that had juice or milk too. So, eat cheese, yogurt, apples or oranges instead and consume fewer calories!